Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
