sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
