I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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