Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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