tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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