What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
