i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
