Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
