overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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