I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
