Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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