Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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