I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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