using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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