Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
