wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
