i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
