loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm passing your future prison.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
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