You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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