thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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