Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
