why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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