Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
