if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
