Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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