So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
