I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
