are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
