Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
