youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
