Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
