I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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