I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
