DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
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