Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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