ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
