Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
