My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
