How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
