I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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