Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
