I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
