those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
