I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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