Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
