The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Text me some of your sweat
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
