To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the day after is always just damage control
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
