dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
