Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
