so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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