gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
