Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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