shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
