I think i peed on brittanys purse
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
