yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
